Only Grace

This morning I woke up and wondered if this is really what it is all about? This is my life for the next year? Five years? Ten years? Am I happy with this being my life? Then of course I wondered why I was thinking like this. I have a TON of things going for me. I have a job that I enjoy, I live in a great house, I have friends all over the country, I have an AMAZING family that I can always go home to. So I've deduced that this thought comes from my emailing with a friend, the books I've read and the want for more. We were emailing about the ladders we are on in life. Each step in the ladder is something in life. I've climbed a few steps, high school, college, job...but their are some steps that I cannot seem to get on--I can talk about these steps but I can't get on them to climb onto the next one. One of these steps is traveling. I want to go to Europe. I'd go for a year if given the opportunity. As I was reading a book the other day it occured to me that I don't have to wait to be given an opportunity, rather I need to just go and do it! I haven't done anything like go to Europe because I convince myself that it is scary to leave the country on your own and go to a land where you don't know anything and that they speak another language! But what good is living in fear? Then I began to think about the things I've started but never really accomplished them or performed them well. I started learning Spanish with my grama--I'm pretty good at asking what your name is! At camp I was learning sign language--I can sign a few songs and converse through finger spelling with someone. In college and at camp I took up guitar--I have a great collection of three or four chord songs that I can play, but don't talk to me about bar chords, finger picking, or strum patterns, and if the song you want me to play involved and F#m...well I'm going to cheat and capo...that's the way it is. Is it possible to have a quarter life crisis? Perhaps this is mine? I keep talking about grad school, I wanna go, but I don't think I want to teach elementary forever. I am not sure what I should get a masters in, and when I think about the money involved I quickly push the applications away. I realize that this blog is going no where really, but that's what you get. Friday ramblings over my lunch hour when I should be making my copies for next week so I can enjoy my three day weekend! To the office I must go!!